After reading your posts you indirectly touched upon something that I am hesitant to mention but is a reality.
- Piecing involves work from both and on different levels, much like 2 teams building a bridge from either side and meeting in the middle
- Healing, emotional healing much like the physical one needs time. It is not something that can be rushed and there is no specific time limit.
- There is no guarantee at the end of the day no matter how much work is put in that it will work.
One point I have always told newcomers is to work on themselves. When they first arrive they are desperate and will hang to anything so that things go back to how they were. To them they "need" their spouses.
After working on themselves the "need" should turn into a "want" and it is at this stage that they look at their spouses and see them in a very different light. They have grown, changed, matured but not their spouses. They see the cracks and flaws and need to fall in love with someone who is not who they thought they were.
In a sense the roles are reversed.
I was in piecing but unfortunately was let down again. The only positive thing I can say is that I am a better person and face problems both in and outside my M in a totally different way. I hope that I have changed enough to start a new relationship without the faults I had before.
Unfortunately it took me to end up here to hopefully become a better man, father and husband.
