Physical and emotional injuries are very similar. They hurt, affect your functions, need time to heal and leave scars.
Like many others you come here looking for answers but what you will receive is advice.
You need to find the answers yourself.
That is how you heal, learn and grow.
In answer to your reply:
- Yes I have received them, I can say that I've not read them both, and probably did a poor job at comprehending what I did read. When I started this, I could feel her distancing herself from me, thus the title of my post referencing "pre-bomb drop". In the process of reading the book, I discovered the PA, and shifted gears to affair recovery per advice from the pastor. Enter Dr. Harley's book and MWD's Healing from an affair. Why start on another book if you havent read the first one? Why read a different book to the forum you are in? Different solutions will only confuse you, especially if you are unprepared. Additionally, you will most likely cherry pick and go for the solutions that suit you most.
- This is the mindset I'm striving for.... has been extremely challenging for me so far.. It is important you achieve this. Whatever the cost.
- I'll admit to struggling with this. I guess because she says there has been no contact w/ OM, yet they see each other every day at work. I have been doing much better though. The first two weeks I was a mess and was trying to keep tabs on her. I think the fact that he cut off contact with her makes me think about what would happen if he changed his mind and wanted my WS instead of his BS. I suggest you only investigate to confirm but right now I think it is pretty clear what your situation is. Does it matter if she sees him once a week or seven times a week. You know your marriage is up sh1t creek. What does snooping offer? Will it get her back?
- Obviously I'm no longer initiating, but if she does? Do I decline? That would be a huge 180 for me... She's never been one to initiate often..
Yes, she spent the first couple nights out of the MB, but has been back for about a month now. The fact you are still unsure reflects what I mean. The posts have concluded what women do and how sex is used. They even give you their opinion. You know the answer. What do you think? Apply it. You need to start making decisions. About the MB I mean if you have left it.
- I will focus on reading to comprehend instead of skimming over the material trying to find what I think applies to me. I'm realizing i've missed several nuggets of wisdom in my haste to burn through the material. Should I put away MWD's Healing from Infidelity for now? I'm thinking yes? No harm in finishing it. Suggest you apply techniques after reading all the books. The more information you have the better. What I do not suggest is cross reading with other therapies or techniques.
