Everyone IRL has told me to drop her like a bad habit and move on....everyone IRL gets baffled that I would even entertain R...but I know at the end it has to be me that makes that ultimate decision...otherwise I won’t be able to make peace with myself.
Be very careful with advice from "people IRL". Usually these are people that care about you and want you to be happy. They will have a problem staying objective. They know that working towards R will prolong your pain. Their goal is to see an end to your pain ASAP. Anything that delays that they will be against. I've read a lot from a lot of different anti-divorce experts, and the one thing they all tend to agree on is to not tell "people IRL" about your sitch. And most of them tell you that for this very reason. Their advice is going to selfish, one-sided and without objectivity because they are too close to the sitch.
I think I told you already but there was no sudden turnaround in my W. There as no big moment where she made a grand proclamation "I've decided to R!" It hardly ever works that way. Usually the WAS will start to change small things. Like you said, things she didn't do for 8 months, she will slowly start doing again. Rarely do we get a big bang event.
So just keep DBing. As AS told someone else, ease up just a tad on the "space and time" and make yourself a little more available. But resist the urge to pursue. so many WAS have come sniffing around only to be sent running again when the LBS applied a little pressure.
Let it happen naturally. Organically. If you try to force it then it will come crumbling down.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
