I like reading your posts Juju, I see so many similarities (some of them really make me laugh) and it really does help bring even more distance and clarity.
The car thing totally reminded me of something I had forgotten, and it made me properly laugh - although at the time I remember feeling exasperated beyond belief.
So, XH always had a car. He needed one for his work, as he was usually working in different places and sometimes at strange times of day/night.
Actually, something has just sprung to mind: sometimes he'd use his car, sometimes not. I think it probably depended on whether he wanted to be drinking or not.
Anyway, he always managed to find reasonably good second hand ones. His last car had been BMW. At the very end of our M, when he was in full on weird mode, he needed a new car. And he came up with this genius plan. Apparently there had been a whole bunch of taxis made and then some law had changed, which meant that they couldn't be sold as taxis, but could still be sold for private use (basically as cars). I can't remember the details.
They were all in London, which is a five hour train journey, and an expensive one at that, from where we lived.
He wanted to go to London to buy one, and drive it back, and use it as his car.
Now, when he told me, I mentioned that he might have people constantly thinking he was actually a taxi and wanting to hail him, or just open the door and get into the back, especially if he was out on a Friday or Saturday. I'm not sure how other people might feel about this, but I know this would have annoyed me, no end.
Nothing, no reaction.
So I remember asking him how efficient they were, as cars. The drive from London to where we lived was maybe seven or eight hours, and fuel is super expensive here. Plus if he'd been driving around a lot, as he invariably needed to be, would it have been that efficient?
He really wanted one. Would not listen to any sort of rational train of thought about it, or even engage in any sort of discussion with me to explain why, nope.
So it escalated (on my part) into a meltdown, obviously.
I can laugh about it now. What a ridiculous situation to have been in. It was like, he'd decided something, presented it to me as final, and wasn't even interested in explaining how or why he'd got to that point. Just nothing, it was like I wasn't even there.
