Never hurts to know where you stand. Take the time you need. There is no rush. Let him be. I know it is counterintuitive. All of us worry that if we start to GAL and he notices that he will then think that we are okay with the situation and push on ahead. I don’t know if that is the case or not. I do know, however, if that I look sad or mopey whenever my H sees me and I make passive aggressive comments, etc... it will NOT pull him closer to me and more likely, will just give him more evidence that D is the right thing. Crazy but I know that my H is basically letting his feelings rule his decisions and if he feels badly about himself in my presence, he will want to end that pain asap and that might mean pushing for a D. However, if he feels good in my presence and he sees me being strong and kind towards him, it will also give him the gift of time and maybe, just maybe, he might question himself a little bit. Regardless, I do know with certainty that one approach will definitely lead to D. The other one might still lead to D but even if it does, I think I will be in a better place to deal with it. I had a major urge to text my H tonight and I am feeling really proud of myself that I didn’t. You will also feel proud of yourself that you didn’t text him. And you are right...it would only tell him that you are spying and give him justification for what he is feeling. The only way to really get him back is for you to find a way to let him go. (((HUGS)))
P.S. It is always easier to advise others than to do it yourself...lol. I am a work in progress with this DBing...no doubt.
