Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can

[marina7]

Gerda, DnJ and everyone else who been following
My stitch.

Well here is a couple answers to questions.
Gerda, work so 2yrs ago I almost lost
My left hand. And is also my left hand, is my left
Hand I did everything as I am a lefty. I was injured
At work. I have gone through 7 surgeries. The
Last surgery they installed a pain stimulator. Basically
I was wired from my brain to my spine and I control
Myself so I can control movements in left hand.
As that was done. This is when W clean me out and left

I had money saved we where in a good place but oneday
W woke up and financially took it all. So as my worker's
Comp lawyers said we gotten this far. If you go back to work
They will stop paying for medical needs. I am in the process of
Getting pain stimulator reinstall and they infused my vertical c4
C5 and c6 they are fused together I am having difficulty with infection
And movement and pain of course.

So yes I have considered going back to work. I am put in a situation that
I must go and forget about me, i know we supposed to care for ourselves
But honestly my situation is getting worse I will explain that.

I don't have family I left at a very young ago to protect
Myself from mental and physical abuse. I have been on my own
So if I call people I removed myself from almost 20yrs ago. Also
Know I am opening a door that I should have kept close

DnJ
GoFundMe page, well let's say I have not many friends that will
Help. I am basically been a loner always I like to stay in my world.
I never been social, and I also have no family I could ask for help.
So yeah that would be hard to even begin

I have a social media but that also will open up alot of questions as I
Have been quite about my situation. It's only been me and the trio's
I moved here for W. I have lots of W friends and family still. Some
Of them don't speak to W and don't know how bad this is. In one weekend
Things turned horribly.

Ok so now let me go to this weekend
I pick up d10 and s9, W of course should not get out the car or
Get next to mines. Well W gets out and walks s9 and d10 to car.
I didn't moved or said anything. W says Hi while s10 is hugging me
S10 jump in car giving me hugs and kisses.

I realized W needs control. Is crazy

Well d10 and s9 where very quiet. Literally quite
I knew something happened they where so quiet
Like broken. Like there spirit broken.
I just held them and reassured them I love
Them and they safe and I am here.

So yesterday after school they both sitting in tables head
Down. I was cooking. I hear a little voice
Mommy come here I sit with them s9 grabs my hand and says
Don't cry amd remember what you told me. Its not your fault.
I said ok s9. But as he was speaking those words my stomach knotted
Felt like I was going to vomit. I started breathing because I knew whatever
Happened this weekend they where about to tell me.

S9 has his head down. I lift his chin and said I am here and held his hand
S9, well this weekend mom choked me, and punch me and was dragging me
Around.
D10 I heard everything I ran to help me mom yeld get back to bed.
S9 Mom got mad because I was playing and not going to sleep.
Ow was in my face screaming [censored] the f up
S9 I don't want to go back I will kill myself if I have to go back.

I of course froze. I had to get my thoughts together.
I know I must now figure out what's next.
I got myself together at first I wanted to go to W house and beat
Her door down. But in reality I am the stable parent.

I got on the phone GAL and my lawyer
Unfortunately there response was well
You can call CPS but they going investigation
But they will close it as W is not consistent.

W had two open case and always have blamed s9
For everything. The two cps case was for also choking him
And ow gripping him up.

There's been marks but I guess not enough for child abuse
Mental abuse forsure. W speaks so ill to them and horribly

Now I have called the police department and cps. Now I am waiting for them
To interview kids and so on.

Today taking s9 to therapy and see what I need to do to
Help him deal with this. W only seems to pick on him
Remember s9 was my nephew We adopted him.
So s9 looks like me and have all my characters.
He the type of kid you can't bribe he will speak
Out which I love about him.

My poor baby is hurting and I can't do nothing.
I need all the prayers and support.

I am struggling and I honestly feel lawyers are more
Worried about pay. Instead of kids mental and physical
Well being.