received a text late last night from W about removing me from one of our shared finances. nothing major really, but did get me to thinking/reflecting a bit. seems that our D will be a certainty. what continues to amaze me about it all is that not once, not ever has W had any interest in seeing/talking with me. the contrast in my sitch with my W compared to most of the others i read here is amazing. if i was an utterly terrible abusive monster of a husband i could understand her absolute disinterest, but quite frankly i was far from anything like that. i know i was a good husband, but with flaws like any of us. anyway the best explanation my mind can come to is that there's been an OM and W is still in the A. i've read that WW must hate the LBS in order to continue the affair. that would seem to be consistent with her actions currently, but i have no idea about the truth of what i just said AND for sure no facts to base it on.
anyway...no pursuit desires, no words from me to her. i've long ago accepted nothing i can do, my sitch is so dysfunctional it's beyond me hoping/doing anything but moving on for myself and D and enjoy/make a new life. for me the toughest part that i cycle on from time to time is just trying to understand how i knew the two of us to be in our MR vs her absolute complete avoidance of me since BD. the sentence don't at all fit the crime best i can put it. i guess even that part as time passes i'm becoming more comfortable with, but i guess for the rest of my life from time to time i'll wonder what the H happened to/with her and last night was one of those times.
