Day went well. Went to the gym, lunch and golfing. I needed to go to lowes by myself but she insisted on going with me. Then we took the kids to dinner.
I have a work function we discussed months ago, and she finally told me she would go....but i cannot have any expectations, which I agreed to. She hates putting on a happy face when that's not the truth. Nonetheless, she is going. I expected some daggers after this discussion.
I got trapped in an R talk. She said we are Platonic right now and I agreed. I explained I am patient and will continue to do so. She said its important we remain friends even if divorced. I said the only promise I have would to be a great father to my kids, nothing more. She seemed offended. I said I'm not hateful or vindictive, but after being treated like $^#% for so long, then we got back together-prompted by YOU- and then possibly divorced, it would be difficult to want to be friends for a time. I told her that HER destruction of a family, fantasies of a happy life after a nuclear bomb like divorce are not practical and she needed to escape from Lala land. I would likely want her out of my life completely, as it would help the healing process. She remained silent.
She then asked how I felt sleeping in the same bed, and I said fine, I have no expectations. I asked her if I should leave the bedroom and she said no, she just wanted my perspective. It would also be hard to explain that to the kids, who were initially told of the divorce then the early reconciliation.
I asked what it would take for the R to work and she does not know. I then asked what it would take for it NOT to work and she did not know.
We changed the topic and all is well. I hate having these discussions but this was the most calm one we have had. While I understand the need to "act as if" all the time, I cannot let her think I will jump through hoops to be friends with her.
