[Living]

Last year after he cheated, I worked to get him back. Now if he wants me back, he will have to work for me. And this time around, it won’t be easy.

I did the same. Pursuit doesn't work, as we have found out! I have been considering all of the requirements for consideration of R. I think it's time to start firming up my list!

I had no clue. I can laugh now but pursuit definitely doesn’t work. Me rejecting him is killing him. He’s like a sick begging puppy (no offense to any puppies). I’m not sure how long this will last. I’m not sure how long he can handle the rejection. I figure at this point I have nothing else to loose. So it either wakes him up and he realizes that he has an amazing wife. Or he remains stupid and get’s to sit back and watch me pick myself up and be amazing without him. The choice is his to make.

I’ve cried, I’ve screamed, and I’ve cried some more. I’ve spend days laying in the bed depressed. And if I need a day to cry and just veg out, I’m going to allow myself to have that. It’s hard going through this. So it’s important that I allow myself the grace to feel and grieve. But I can’t stay in that space forever. So that means on some days when I feel like I can’t get out of bed, I have to force myself to.

In the meantime. I’m focusing on healing and taking care of myself and my children.