[Living]

[quote=LH19]Living,

I am really sorry you are going through this right now.

I am going to give you my opinion. He's manipulating you. He wants to have affairs with younger woman and still have the comforts of the family and home. It is good you stopped having sex with him. Sounds like your'e ready to cave which will put you back at ground zero.

Lets look at actions and consequences. He has affairs and the consequences are he sleeps in other room and you have not had sex with him in two weeks. I have married friends who go way longer then that.

This is very troublesome to read because it sounds to me that it is like a game to him.

LH19,

I assure you that I am not going to cave. It is hard to withdraw and detach, I'm just acknowledging that when I say that I miss my husband. Truth is I miss the man he used to be. I miss the man I fell in love with. I'm not fond of this new person he has become.

Detaching takes a really long time. Keep in mind that the husband you fell in love with is likely going to be gone for a really long time.

To my knowledge, he has only had 1 physical affair, which was last year. Trust me when I say that I know there was no excuse for his affair. He is a grown man and could have made a better decision.

So you believe the Hawaii girl was not an affair?

I will not be sleeping with him or having sex with him. I agree with you that he was trying to manipulate me. However, that is over. I refuse to allow myself to continue to be played. Therefore no matter how hard this may be, I'm choosing to just focus on myself. I'm choosing my self-respect.

This is a really good statement! Stick to it.

Do I want my marriage to work? Sure I do! But if and when he comes to his senses, we won't be just picking up where we left off. Too much has been said and too much has been done. It will take some real work to patch this marriage up.

This is also a good statement make sure you also stick to this or it won't work out long-term.

My husband appears to be in a full-blown mid-life crisis and unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about that. This is a journey he must take on his own.

What makes you think it's MLC? When you say there is nothing you can do about it, what do you mean? That you do not have choices?

You sound like you are on the right track so stick to what you posted above.

Thank you for your comment and encouragement. As for was he really on a work trip. Without saying too much, I will just say that he works for the government so I was present when the work trip travel plans were made. His trip was paid for by the government so I know it was work related. He also get’s extra money for travel andO saw those deposits be made into our bank account.

I agree with you that I’m on the right track. I just left my therapist office and she too thinks I’m on the right track. Thanks again for the encouragement. Hugs!