Okay, thanks for responding quickly. So, she's not working. Did she sell her part of the business, or how is she making a living for herself?
When she calls, does she ever ask questions about your personal life? If so, then she wants to know if you are interested in another woman. My advice is not to share about your dating life...….or lack of one. Keep it a little mysterious.
Since you mentioned that control was an issue, it may be helpful to get the board's view about how some of the conversations go. B/c it is difficult for the person to see themselves as "controlling". Sometimes, H's try to tell the W how she should or shouldn't feel about a situation. They are "her" feelings, so let her feel however she feels. If you can validate her, then do it. Don't tell her she's wrong, or try to persuade her to think differently. Just listen and validate. I know from experience that it is a hard habit to break, but it is so liberating when you allow her to think and feel for herself.
I don't know what the other problems were in the MR. You said you've stopped, however, it's not the same as when living in the same house together. It may be a matter of having space and time on her own. Sometimes, it takes two or more years of separation. It appears that she wants to maintain some type of attachment, and that's why she continues to initiate contact. If you have a recent text message or something you could post for us to see...….it might gives us a little insight. Otherwise, I think she enjoys her current life and isn't ready for it to change. You can't afford to pursue, b/c it will feel like pressure to her.
Did she move closer to family, or what drew her to that location?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
