Familiar path, new approach (pain18 DB VII)

[ovrrnbw]

Question for you all: When W is so involved with OM's friends and children, how should I handle it? Is she just that deep into her own fog? I know it's not good at all, but hopes for a happy ending dwindle each day. This would just be another pin that gets knocked down.

She's making herself look like an ass. She has justified it a million times in her own head and has surrounded herself with enablers. You don't need to bring it up to her, but if she ever brought it up to you You just be clear about what's right and what's wrong in reasonable tone.

W asked me about my decision about our "living situation"

If you have decided to be at home full time, and I hope you have, then tell her and move forward. No sense in dragging this out.

I did say that I will out of the house more doing more stuff

Sounds like appeasement to me.

She said something along the lines of "well, I'd better make myself scarce." I shrugged my shoulders and basically told she can do what she needs to do.

I'd recommended an even briefer response, like an "OK".

Not giving in is a positive step, but I'd recommend not appeasing her. Here's how it came off to me:

Pain: "WW, I'm going to be here full time."
WW: "I thought you said you would leave a few nights a week"
Pain: "I didn't agree to that. I'm going to stay at the house. But I will be out of the house more so you will be comfortable staying here".

NGS.

Still, it's progress.