MLC interactions are like lab experiments. As Peace pointed out, you have to experiment a bit and see what works and what doesn't. If something is working...then stay the course. If something isn't working, then don't try it again.
I see nothing wrong with the conversation you had last night. You used the word "I" instead of "we or you" and that keeps the communication line a bit more open. She listened to what you had to say and you got a response from her. Do not drop that particular card again...she may feel like you are trying to pressure her into something.
For now...keep the focus on you and your family. Give your wife the space and time she needs.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
