Last night I went to sleep thinking hopeful thoughts. I thought, maybe the silence means she’s rethinking things. Probably not. I can hope, but I’m trying to ignore the expectations.
I know it's hard. What can you do to try to go to sleep thinking about you and your life? Or maybe give yourself a small time each day to really think about W and what it all means. But try to compartmentalize it so that it doesnt overwhelm you and your thoughts. I mean, theres no way to know how shes feeling right now. She could be silent because shes angry, sad, tired, busy.....who knows. It could be good...could be bad....could just BE. Are you familiar with Schrodinger's cat experiment? If you dont, it's that theres a cat in a box ihats either alive or dead. You dont know what it is until you look in the box...but looking in the box can change the state of the cat. So is the cat alive or dead now?? Theres just no way to know. Just know that the cat exists....and someday, maybe youll know...and someday, maybe you wont. Thats kinda how your R is with W right now. It exists in some capacity....but temp checking will change the state. So somehow, you have to accept that it just...IS.
Originally Posted by burned
This morning she texts to ask about some minor irrelevant form she got in the mail. Then she asks “How are you doing?” First temp check in a month. So I took the bait. In the end all she wanted was to talk about dividing finances. It’s all she ever worries about. In fact it’s probably the reason she didn’t leave a year ago when the A began. To think that she kept me around, strung me along, just for that... Anyway, the rest of the texts were all business, no emotion.
I dont see why this is a good or a bad thing. Was it small talk among acquaintances? Then it is what it is. Did you immediately jump back in to pressure mode?
Originally Posted by burned
playing a game of chicken to see who will back down first.
I dont get it....what is "back down"? What do you think you should be doing differently?
