Thank you so much DnJ. I will read that many times. It was very helpful. I have started to work through your threads but it is going to take me awhile. . And btw... I’m not a young folk...lol. I believe you and I are the same age.
Have had a pretty great day today all things considered. My H came over in the a.m., had a pancake and then took D18 out in our boat to pick up his crab trap. No crab unfortunately but he and D18 got to spend some time together. Don’t know what they talked about. Not going to ask. I decided to take the dog out for a walk and they were back when I returned. H had brought me some wild mushrooms that he had picked yesterday before his visit to the hospital. He was excited to cook them for me and his mom and was downstairs at his mom’s doing that. After we had the mushrooms, he took all the kids out to see if they could find more and stopped in at a Farmer’s Market. They returned with a pumpkin pie that he had purchased for me and the kids. He then asked me if it would be okay if he went to the hospital for an hour as his pain was picking up again. He returned about 90 minutes later with his computer and to help D10 with her math. She declined help so he sat at the kitchen island working on something for his school assembly while D18 read a book and I read some of the forum posts (completely out of his view, don’t worry). It all felt so normal. My MIL had asked me earlier in the day if we wanted to go out for sushi and texted me to say she was ready to go. I told H what we were doing and he was welcome to join us if he wanted to. He thanked me and D18 and I went to get changed. When I returned he told me the blouse I was wearing looked nice on me and that “tight is always better”. It was not that tight but I appreciated the comment nonetheless. I had thought he sounded like he wanted to go but instead said he wasn’t dressed appropriately and was still feeling sick from all the drugs he has taken this weekend. He said his ear was burning (nerve pain) and is out of his meds so I gave him some of mine since I have the same pills for my migraines. Happily I have not needed them since I started taking nightly preventative meds. My headaches used to come once a month and last for three days so not having had one since for seven weeks now is like a miracle. My MIL told me later, however, that he actually was going to come but did a search and found out all the sushi restaurants were closed save for one which is apparently the one he doesn’t like. Anyway...didn’t make a huge difference to me which was a nice feeling for a change. On the ride back home, I cranked up some “break-up” songs and my SD18 and I sang them at the top of our lungs. My MIL was laughing and wanted to know if I hated written the lyrics. A Little Bit Stronger by Sarah Evans and Since You’ve Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson... best [getting over] break-up songs ever.
Tomorrow is a meeting at my kids’ school to do their IEPs. My H was originally going to go but realized that the time of the meeting is the exact time of the one block he teaches that he can’t get his student teacher to teach. To be honest, I am kind of relieved he isn’t going to be there. The parent-teacher interview that we went to a couple of weeks ago was quite unpleasant for me for some reason so I would rather he just not be there so I can just concentrate on my kids.
So a nice day following an unpleasant evening with the D conversation with my SD. I have resolved that I am not going to worry about what he says to other people and that I only need to pay attention to what he says to me. I am in no rush to make any big decisions so I will just concentrate on GAL and lessening my contact with him. It will be better for me in the long run regardless of the outcome.
So I have a question about my sitch. When I read about MLCrs on peoples threads, they all sound really crazy to me. I feel like my H is in some sort of crisis and that it started four years ago. But he has never done anything crazy like gamble excessively, buy a hot car (although he did get the boat he has always wanted which he will most likely not be able to afford to keep if we D) or have any affairs (that I know of). And he has been very nice and respectful to me the entire time. Early on, when my brain was still trying to adjust to all of this, when I was upset about things, he would hear me out, concede that I made some good points, go back to his place to “process” and often commented that it was “helpful” to talk with me as I always had things to say that he hadn’t thought of. However, that was early on and it seems to me that since I told him to go, he has been distancing himself and getting more and more used to being on his own. So for those of you who have read my sitch, do you think this is MLC? Or is this a guy who just doesn’t want to be married anymore?
. And btw... I’m not a young folk...lol. I believe you and I are the same age. 