It took me a while, but expectations are now zero. We are pretty much roommates sleeping in the same bed.
Here's how things are going: Hugging: majority initiated be her. They are at "hello" and "goodbye" moments only. Kissing: rarely a kiss on the cheek from her. I usually give one while hugging. No resistance. Hand holding/embracing: always initiated by me. She declined most of the time but occasional reciprocity depending on her mood. Note/gifts: not really present in our relationship until all this garbage happened. I would leave a note by the coffee machine daily. Now I do it 2-3 days per week. No longer "ILY" type stuff but rather stuff you'd see in a fortune cookie, have a nice day type stuff. She seems to enjoy it and always says thank you.
We are going to golf lessons this week. Neither of us like golf but we want to try something new together. She is still intertested in going out as a family the majority of the time. We have thanksgiving dinner planned. She says there is nothing to celebrate for Christmas so has said she doesn't want to do anything. I'm letting that die until time gets closer.
I will think of some more activities. My fear is that we will grow apart as we find ourselves. But there is nothing I can do about it.
The thought of pulling back involved stopping ILYs, hugging and spending more time by myself. Is this a bad idea at this time?
