13 years and two small children

[Hurt213]

Update:

So today we had the real estate broker come by and do a (i don't know the word for this i english) screening of the house to set a market value: We were pleased by the fact that we have a house that is sought after currently, and he thinks it will sell very quickly if he gets to put it out there (the price will even make it, so that both of us gets out of this without any financial set back). WW was very happy at first about the pricing and the fact that this most likely won't take long.

After the broker left, we sat down (WW's request), and we talked. I have been "taking over" the conversations for a long time, where when we talked, I would all of a sudden be the one talking, cause I would be voicing my own opinions - that changed today, I listened to her opinions, validated to the best of my skills and showed her, that I was actually giving her my 100% attention when she spoke.

First, we talked about the meeting we just had, and that we were content with the pricing and the fact that this wouldn't drag out (I told her, that if that was how she felt, then alright). She then proceeded to tell me, that she would really like it if we could wait until after Christmas to put the house on the market (she didn't want to give me false hopes for anything) but she was in "no hurry". I said I heard what she was saying, but I would have to think about it.

Then she began talking about me and her, and how things had turned bad, I just listened, and didn't try to alter her opinion. She then proceeded to talk about the OM, how he had given her the things I was not able to when I was sick and how she desperately had longed for it. How she had envisioned her and him being the future, and then how he had ended things and not her. They are not in contact as of now (but I know they will be no later than next week with work related stuff). She said she hated him for it and that she was sure, that he was clearly not over his divorce yet, however if he wrote to her, she didn't know if she would go back to him, however as of now, she really hated him - I just listened, but I absolutely did not validate or show sympathy towards that part of the conversation, I just let her talk.

She began talking about how, maybe her and I, really just would be better of, if we went on a holiday just the two of us to somewhere - because that was what had been neglected for so long. It had been all about the children and not us. I listened, and validated her opinions. She talked about how she was afraid to start over with me, because she would be afraid to meet someone, and then be a bad person and do this all over again (she then burst in tears), I just listened.

She talked about selling the house, buying an apartment, living there for a couple of years as a family, solving the puzzle, rekindle the flame, and then build a new house in a new town. I listened.

Tonight she came in and for the first time in 3 months, she tugged herself in next to me in the couch under the blankets, but then immediately fell asleep. I didn't read anything special into it, as the only thing im currently working is: 180, GAL, be the best dad I can be and detaching. The reason for this is also that she stated that she didn't know how she would respond if OM decided to reengage contact - I am not a standby, never will be so im staying on course.

As always, comments are REALLY appreciated and helps me a lot in this mess.