[quote=Grace21]I have been GAL, I’ve gone out alone a couple of times and he was definitely curious. He wanted to make sure I was wearing my wedding ring and asked me what would I do if a guy approached me. I asked him what would make him think a guy would approach me. His response was come on now, you’re beautiful. So when I say it’s weird, it’s weird. It’s like he’s having a hard time letting go of someone he claims he’s no longer in love with.
This is projection. They think the only reasons to go out socializing without their spouse is to find other people. Which it sounds like he did in Hawaii. My H told me he wouldn't blame me if I wanted to date. He knows that in the 28+ years I've known him I never allowed myself to let another man think I'm open to something more than polite chit chat. He obviously can't say the same.
You will have difficult days ahead. Start your process of detachment and GAL, and each day will become a pinch easier. We are all here for you.
What you said makes sense. I’m sure if I went out and did anything remotely close to cheating, that would help him justify his behavior. I refuse to do that. I took my marriage vows seriously. There’s no way I will give him the satisfaction of being able to say, you did it to. I told him if this marriage does end, I’ll walk away with the piece of mind of knowing that I remained faithful and loyal to him until the end. I refuse to have that karma on me.
He has said I deserve better and that I deserve the best. I told him he’s right. He said I have been the best wife and he doesn’t deserve me.
You’re right that I have difficult days ahead. Although it hurts, I will says since I’ve taken my power back, it’s getting a tiny bit easier. Thanks so much for your support. I’m so glad I found this place!
Hugs to everyone going through this madness!
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
