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My husbands father passed away 10 months prior to his affair and what I believe was the beginning of this crisis he’s in. He had a strained relationship with his father growing up. However, they had started to mend things. His father apologized to him for everything and let my husband know he was proud of him. I know the death of his father affected him greatly. I would say now looking back, things changed after that.

He has a horrible relationship with his mother and blames her for allowing his stepfather to be verbally and emotionally abusive to him growing up. It seems he blames his mother for his childhood more than he blames his father. His father was an alcoholic who wasn’t reliable.

Here are the things I have been able to get out of him in the last few weeks when he has opened up:

1. He’s confused

2. He’s unhappy

3. He feels like he put so much pressure on himself to be better than his father, mother, and stepfather. He wanted to be a better father, husband, and provider than they were.

4. He says that he has some demons/skeletons in his closet that he doesn’t want to talk about. I suggested therapy and he told me that I’m the only person in the world that he trust so if he won’t tell me, why would he tell a total stranger. He was in tears when we had this discussion. Come to think of it, he’s cried a lot on the past few weeks.

5.He is not really receptive to therapy but has scheduled an appointment to go.

6. The other day he cried and told me about 2 friends that committed suchcise. One was a HS friend the other was a former fellow soldier (my husband is a retired soldier). He said although he hasn’t thought about hurting himself he can kind of understand why they would do it. That scared me. But he assured me that he wasn’t thinking about harming himself.

7. I again suggested therapy and suggested that he may be suffering from depression. He just says maybe.

8. He’s not sleeping well either

He does seem to be battling with some serious things. It does seem like he’s hurting and he wants to run. Yesterday he mentioned to my daughter that he may take a job in another state. He’s never mentioned that to me. Maybe he told her because he figured she would tell me. I’m not sure.