[Living]

So sorry you are here. You've come to the right place for help, understanding, or just to vent. Most of us here have heard the "I love you but not in love with you line". I heard it prior to finding out about Hs first 2 year affair. The sitch is confusing to you because your H is confused and conflicted. Not sure they want to give up the good things in the marriage, but wanting "more excitement" or whatever.

Could you share a bit about yourselves. Ages, kids, and their ages? It looks like you've been married 11 years?

Take all the advice in Job's post, especially GAL. It helps a lot. If I was in your sitch, I would not want to have sex with H knowing he is open to a relationship with someone else. That's way to much cake-eating for my taste.

Grace21 thank you for the warm welcome. This has been such a nightmare. I can’t beleive it has come to this.

We have been married 11 years, together 12. We don’t have any biological kids together. I have 3 kids from a previous relationship and he has 2 from a previous relationship. My kids ages are 21, 18, and 15. So thankfully they aren’t little dealing with all this. His kids are 21 and 17, they don’t live with us. They live in another’s state.

For 9 and half years of our marriage, we have been the best of friends. He’s been there to support me and I’ve been there to support him. He’s been an amazing husband up until last year. We truly had a beautiful marriage and I’m not exaggerating. But something changed, he changed and I don’t understand it.

Now he’s unhappy and feels like he’s missing out on something life has to offer and this marriage his holding him back from that. I don’t know what happened but like I said, he was never like this before. My kids have noticed a change in him and so have my sisters. It’s like invasion of the body snatchers came and took my husband and left this new confused dude.

I’m not going to continue to sleep with him. I did at first but the I stopped. I respect myself too much to allow myself to become a booty call for my own husband. So I’ve put him out the bed and he’s sleeping in another room. But each night ends with him begging me for sex, kisses, hugs, cuddles, etc. It’s exhausting. I have to put him out of the bed we once shared nightly.

I have been GAL, I’ve gone out alone a couple of times and he was definitely curious. He wanted to make sure I was wearing my wedding ring and asked me what would I do if a guy approached me. I asked him what would make him think a guy would approach me. His response was come on now, you’re beautiful. So when I say it’s weird, it’s weird. It’s like he’s having a hard time letting go of someone he claims he’s no longer in love with.