Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can

[Rita]

Any love in that relationship is based on loving the worst part of your W. Think of who the OW is loving! An awful person you would never even date. Y

I totally understand your feelings of hurt, rejection, betrayal. I have them too. All the time.

But I try to remember that the person my H is now, is not actually him. It's some alien who looks like him. Anyone who could love his current awful selfish self would have to be a pretty awful person too. It is just a big stew of lies and misery even if they look outwardly happy -- it's just a high of addiction to the new relationship or the running behaviors. We wouldn't call a drug addict happy even if that addict insisted s/he was!