Thank you for your responses FS and Dejavus, yes FS he has blamed me for all his unhappiness and just the fact that he is willing to spend all this money on his own place, just to be away from me is so hard to digest for me. If he chooses to rather spend 2k every month then living with me, I must have been a horrible wife to him. Also you are right with distinguishing between being friendly and being friends. We will see how it goes once he is out.
Holidays are a big issue for me too, Christmas being the toughest. I have the option of going to Europe to spend the holidays with my parents there. My inlaws live in the same area as my parents, so the kids could still spend time with both parts of the family separately. H will be on business trip there before Christmas anyway and would just stay a little longe if we would be there. He leaves the decision to me. The kids would love to go and it would probably be the easiest way for them for our first Christmas not as a couple. I think celebrating while I have thought about it as an option has never crossed Hs mind, so I rather don’t bring it up. I know it sounds crazy, but being with my parents over Christmas does not sound that attractive to me. We get along very well and I love them, but being with them without H seems harder then being all by myself. Maybe it is because they are no longer very fond of H. I know I need to change my perspective and should start looking forward to holidays, after all they are not dependent of me being with H.. sorry if this sounds confusing. That’s exactly what it feels like.
