Stereotypical LBS

[TJT]

Congratulations Ryan.

I relate to how you're feeling in terms of having the good moments and the feelings of sadness mixed in and how the shifts in the sadness are occurring. I wonder long-term what the sadness will ultimately "settle" as (or if it will always keep evolving) and I think that's where I trip myself up and make things worse ... that I am not only thinking about the current state, but how this is going to feel later and being scared that I'll never feel "normal" again.

For me, even if it's improving, I still long for how things "were" and who I "was" in my marriage. Everyone says you will never be the same but that "different" does not equal worse, as hard is that is to believe sometimes. I heard a saying along the lines of: who are we to say or judge that our future doesn't hold something better for us?

But I am not a creature of chance or fate, so I hate that . We are creatures of control and habit, for sure!