I can see you've received some good advice. I would second the advice to concentrate on healing yourself. That is something you have control over. Your W does not sound like a monster. But, it would have taken a lot of courage on her part to leave, and now that she has done it, she has momentum. Any pursuit on your part will fuel that momentum.
Use this time to work on you. Maybe, she will see the positive changes ... though she will want to know that its permanent ... and you can only show her that through consistency ... and she may come back. But she might not. Either way you will be a better version of you.
Originally Posted by pie51
One good thing is that there is NO other man - never has been and she even stated that the thought of that was gross. I asked her if she still loved me and she said yes but just can't live with me any longer like this she needed to move forward not move on and that I also needed to move forward and get myself better . I know that my wife loves me she has proven it - we made love the night before she left and we have seen each other 8 time since she left and have made love all 8 times
I would like to put a slightly different perspective on this. Many years ago, after D8 was born, I went into what I can only describe as a kind of functional post natal depression. On the face of it we led a near perfect life. But simmering under the surface, I was questioning nearly all my life choices. How did I end up living in the suburb? How did I end up working in a cubicle when I wanted to be an artist? How did I end up, how did I end up, how did I end up ...
During this time, I would sometimes initiate intimacy (out guilt for the things I was thinking, to check if there was still a spark, and yes, just to make sure he was still attached to me). Throughout all this, I knew I loved him and that I loved our life. It was just sadness and I got over it eventually.
In any case, a slightly different view. I don't think your W is having a PA, though there may be an EA - a person she shares her thoughts with who has enabled her leaving because it suits their own agenda. In the end it doesn't matter though. She has left, and you now have to get on with the business of getting stronger.
Detach, 180, GAL. You will hear that mantra repeated again and again because it really is the only way to get through this.
