It is pretty scary how alike our H's are. Yours has been out of the home since March and technically, mine has too, I just didn't realize it until September. Hating my H would make it easier to move on but I know that this way is better for our children. I do like the contact between us in some ways. I just worry that I am getting too used to it and that if we move forward and declare ourselves officially S or moving on to D, I will need to set some more boundaries so that we don't see each other so much. I know he does not have as much effect on me when I haven't seen him for a few days.
I've gotten over the Hallowe'en disappointment. I am still bugged that I let myself be disappointed at all since I had predicted it. If you had asked me beforehand what the chances were that he would stick it out with me and the kids, I would have told you 25%. I really have to start preparing better for the worst instead of hoping for the best. I actually feel like I should be doing that about the entire sitch overall but it is difficult when I see him and things feel so normal other than I can't really touch him or say ILU anymore. That part is tough. I'm a pretty affectionate person by nature. However, thinking back, I wasn't really being that way with him the last six months or so. I think I just sensed he was not open to it.
His daughter is staying with me over the weekend so I expect I will see him a fair amount. Other than letting him know when she is arriving, I am going to leave it to the two of them to figure out how much of a visit they want. He is used to me organizing everything so I am curious to see if he steps up his game. That's about a 30% chance.
