Exhausted all day, all I want is to go to bed. Then I get to bed and can’t sleep. Lovely.
This too shall pass. Burned, very sorry, I personally know how much it really blows having walked a mile in your shoes. But here's the good news- you haven't walked the 10 miles in mine, but you will, and it DOES get better. I spent many a night tossing and turning with my mind spinning like crazy. Now? I sleep like a baby, like I don't have a care in the world. Why? Because I don't. Whatever fire life throws at me I know I can handle, because I already crawled through broken glass in a the raging inferno.
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Here’s one for the night owls: what if W is right? She’s not really acting selfish, crazy, or anything. She’s just over it. So maybe she’s right.
Well she is right, in her mind, for now. Here is my question to you and every other LBS here, your W changed her mind from being in love with you to not being in love with you. She CHANGED her mind, meaning she felt one way, now she feels another. What makes you think she can't change it back again? I mean you already have the proof that she can change her mind. Women come out of marriages where there was physical and emotional abuse and even THEY often attempt to recon. So how much better the chance for someone who was a decent husband and just needs some tweaking.
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We were incompatible, and too much damage has already been done...what if I’m the one who’s crazy and selfish for trying to fix this? I mean, sometimes things just don’t work out, and holding out hope is maybe just stubborn and counterproductive.
People around here seem to think hope is a disease, like if they have hope then they are setting themselves up for disappointment and failure. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HOPE. In fact, hope is an amazing thing. I originally had no hope, but then I said to myself "you know what? Some people DO reconcile, so why not me? My chances are as good as anyone's." So whenever I would get down I would stop myself and say "oh wait, this is just temporary because you WILL reconcile." And that hope lifted my spirits, allowed me to find happiness again, drove me to work hard at DB'ing. You already see the obvious irony here, I never did recon. BUT, the thing about hope is it is simply a state of mind. Hope IS what energizes us! NOT the thing we are hoping for, but hope itself. Do you understand what I'm saying? If you hold hope in your heart then it gives you positive energy and keeps you driving forward. I can't say when it happened but my hope changed at some point, from hope to recon to just hope for a better life. It changed from hoping for something I couldn't control to something I could. Never discount the power of hope.
