She is throwing the ILYs around and I am validating but am not ready to return. I am continuing some GAL activities and passive communication throughout the day but what about the detachment, if she is pursuing now what is the best way to approach? Do I tell her that this is will not happen overnight, too much has happened this time, not sure what things will be like, etc etc?
Do you love her?
Overall I like your take it slow approach. If this is just a temp check then it will send her back the other way to embrace it too much.
If you love her, then there is nothing wrong in returning "ILY2". Continue to refrain from saying it first.
I often tell LBSs that they will know, without a doubt, when their WAS is ready to R. If you have doubts then stick to your gut and keep DBing.
Also, R doesn't mean you stop DBing. DBing is applicable to healthy and recovering marriage too. For instance you should always be lovingly and healthily detached. Look up self-differentiation in marriage. Your 180s should be PERMANENT. And GAL, while maybe not to the same level as when you are post BD, but pre-R, should still be done. One of the best things for a marriage is spending time apart.
Keep up the good work!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
