I will read your sitch a little more fully later, but just wanted to say you've come to the right place. You will find people here who are, or have gone through, what you are going through. Some have been here a while and will offer sound advice. Listen to them even when what they tell you is hard to take.
Others, like me are new but will, where we can, offer encouragement and support and perhaps a different perspective on your sitch.
