KML and others--thanks so much for your info and support!
Equity in the house--hard to tell (or I just don't know). We refinanced the house 5 years ago, and took out a home equity loan last year to redo the kitchen and the windows. I estimate that it is worth $150,000. Purchased originally in 2000 for 99,000. With both the first and the home equity loan, we owe 88,00 alltogether.
Because I live in a college town, getting a roommate would be relatively easy, and I would estimate about $800/mo rent plus utilities. H makes 20,000 more than I do. I have a referral to an attorney--will talk soon, but most of our money goes out to various bills, insurance, medical, etc. in addition to student loans. I took out 6 semesters worth of loans, and paid off 3 of them before they became due. Thanks to student loan rules, though, and recapitalization, I believe that we owe about as much on the loans as our original mortgage--about 66,000. These were all taken out in my name. As a University employee, I get 9 free credit hours per year, so I only actually pay for 3 credits per year. The rest went to medical bills, and I believe that we each got a computer at some point as well. Hope that helps.
I did not tell me husband about the medical bills--he has no idea what we paid. And although insured, 3 brain surgeries and and an additional hospitalization for a brain infection 3 years ago is not cheap. We had one prescription that, with insurance, was $500/mo, plus occupational, physical, speech and regular therapy. I considered getting a second job, but he was too ill to leave alone, and I could work on my degree at home, so that's what I did. Anyone with a loved one battling brain issues knows that there are angry periods, but now, 9 years after the first surgery, it feels like we are sliding backwards a little bit. Or maybe MLC seems to have some of the same characteristics! Or maybe he simply doesn't love me anymore. He was livid when I told him that a divorce takes planning, and that we simply can't afford it right now. Also told him that we need to get our debt down if he truly wants to leave. I am devastated.
