Had the pleasure of speaking to a DB coach on the phone. It was fantastic. He does tend to think it is more of a WAW or maybe a hybrid of the with MLC. I did note if I drop ILY while hugging or holding hands she squeezes tight and gave me the green light to drop it every now and then.
I did pick up on a new pattern now though. It goes Daggers thrown---->my deflection---> 5 minutes later her asking if I'm ok in order to see if her insults affected me or not.
Example from lunch today. I admittedly put my hand on her thigh and attempted to hold hands. She did not reciprocate. I got full while eating and got quite. She interpreted that as I was upset she didn't reciprocate.
Her: does it eat at you when I don't reciprocate these things. Me: No. Her: it has to, you are getting upset. Me: 1. Dont name my emotion. 2. How would it make you feel? Her: I dont think I could be with that person any more Me: laughs with a sarcastic "OK" Her: I dont know where we stand and you're trying to change my direction toward you Me: OK. What do you want. Her: you to acknowledge you get upset when I dont reciprocate Me: sorry, I dont. You're arrogant to think you control my emotions. Her: I'm not arrogant Me: yes you are. Her: I dont want to be touched right now, ok. Me: cool.
We get home, I shower. Shes in the bathroom probably to see if I am crying. I get out and tell her I'm going out for a bit.
Me: leaving now Her: gives me big hug. I drop ILY and she squeezes very tight. Followed by "Are you ok" Me: -smile-, I am great, thanks. See you at dinner.
This pattern of things happens every 3-4 days or so. It always involves something about my emotions or a future without her. It is followed by a check up 5 minutes later to see if she had any impact. Is this typical behavior?
