MiL shows up and W says to me, "you and MiL go ahead and take the kids I am going to stay home. Mentally I am thinking oh no I am not dealing with this B.S. you are handing out so I told wife "Are you kidding me?
I am not really in a place to offer advice but wanted to touch on this part and get everyone's opinion for myself and for you. I read this and all i could think is why? This is a touchy subject with the kids being involved but here are my thoughts as they relate to my sitch. My W is doing much the same when it comes to the kids. Basically she went from being the best mom in the world to also walking away from them post BD. At first I was trying the same tactic you employed, lately I am doing the opposite. Now I simply go out and do my thing with the kids. We have a great time together, i make it as fun as possible for them, I show them extra love and at the end of the night they don't seem to pay much attention to mom's absence. I think long term this will have a two fold effect. One that is immediately apparent is my relationship with the kids is better then ever and overall myself and the kids are happier. The second that may or may not come down the road is this will help WAW see what she has truly walked away from and what she is missing out on. I was trying to shield my kids from all of this and I'm not sure that was the best move, I feel it was fake. They obviously don't need to know the details of what is going on, they need to figure some of that out on their own. But they don't need to be shielded from reality. The reality of the situation is that the kids family for now has broken up. Their mom is not around like she should be but it is not my job to make W realize that or ensure it happens. The loving mother they once knew who was always there for them doesn't exist right now. That is a really hard truth to accept and is incredibly sad but at the end of the day it is reality.
Kids should have two loving parents in their lives to guide them through life, especially early on. The sitch is not ideal but I have become comfortable with the fact that I will single handedly be the one to pick up the slack from W's absence and do the best I can on my own. I know what I am capable of and I know that my kids will also come out of this mess with a lot of life lessons and be stronger individuals because of the loving father that is currently doing everything he can to be there for them.
