D8 wants to have me over as well to have Thanksgiving as a family. I say its your moms scheduled holiday I am not sure she wants to have me over.
H:"D, I will talk to mom and one of us will let you know our decision." Your kids will know it is mom's decision. You know what the decision will be.
Other options: "Your mom and I have (or made) an agreement that says (Whatever your arrangments are):
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D8 gets upset so W says yeah we can do Thanksgiving together, but gives me a look.
This is even harder.
Man up, tell W you have made other plans. Let W deal with upset D during Thanksgiving. This is counter intuitive. But give her space.
I have kids this Thanksgiving. X has them on Friday. Next year it flips. X always has Xmas Eve, I always have Xmas Day. Not sure what your arrangements are, but this works for us.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
