I havr been going through the same focus. For a while, i obsessed over the blue light forums. I though i might gain some insight about ex, by readings postings from addicts.
My ex drank in secret. When i first met him, he did not like to drink at all. Just smoked weed recreationally. When i started seeing a glass with a remnant of liquor in it, i thought it odd but figured he started drinking a night cap. That didnt seem uncommon. He would stay awake late at night and then he would not be able to wake up in the morning. Alarms would be blaring. That wasnt a red flag for me because his mom would tell me he was like that as a teenager. That he was a night owl. I used to think he stayed awake playing video games. Then he told me he needed to get work done at night because it was easier since he was dealing with countries in different time zones. I thought he was a deep sleeper. Hell, i did not even know that was a sign of drinking. I do not drink much at all. I dont really ow much about drug culture.
After he left, i saw cc statements that dated back years. When i was pregnant (miscarried). I remember one when we were away for the weekend. I remember he told me he was taking the car to ride up and see the top of the mountain while i put our son to sleep. He was never sentimental like that, which is why i remember that. The credit card statement showed he was purchasing from a liquor store.
My ex was and is high functioning. But more secretive then yours. 200 to 300 dollars a month on his credit card from 3 different liqour stores. Jack daniels. (This isbkust alcohol. Does not explain the 700 dollar a week habit though)
I find i tell this over and over and over. I apologize if you read it already. Its like i need to replay it in my mind. Because if i dont, i would never believe he coyld be an addict.
Thats the harder part about the secret high functioning addict. Its not actually acknowledged yet. They are successful and doing ok. So does that mean im crazy or the dysfunctiobal one ? Addicts gaslight and thats the hard part.
