Sorry, my daughter promptly proceeded to get sick with laryngitis... and she is not a good patient when her throat hurts. And no sooner we were out of that, when my PC got some virus or other and I lost my internet access. I thought it was Sasser and I checked and inoculated all 17 of our computers in the office... Anyway, it is not Sasser, and my home computer is still useless. I am having a lot of problems accessing the net from home.
Our anniversary was OK. My H did not give me a present but he took me to dinner to our favorite French restaurant and we talked a lot... like when we were dating, plans for the future and stuff. After we got married he had gotten very silent and we used to be that couple that you see in restaurants eating their dinners in silence... I had asked him if, for an anniversary present, he would like for me to buy him another wedding band to make up for the one he had stolen in January. He said yes, we would go during the week... but the week in question never came.
Mother's Day came and went, and with it the first anniversary of my actually discovering the truth about my H's affair. I woke up that day in a nightmare of which I've thankfully forgotten the details but that morning my H came in with a beautiful painting that I had liked (and forgotten about) months ago as my present. And fixed breakfast. I was a bit weepy, and I had to warn him that I was sad but it was not his fault.
My D made me another present. Last year she had cut out a paper teapot with a little picture of her in the center. She had such a sad little face in the picture and I was in such a mental distress (you all know how it feels) that I broke in tears when she gave it to me. She was terrified, even after I told her I was crying because I was so proud of her and happy. This year she made a little box with a decorated little plastic heart magnet and her picture. She is so hugely happy, showing off her skating medal with a big smile... I showed my H both presents but he did not seem to pick the difference.
Apart from that, life goes on. I got the KLA CDs and have listened to 3 of them. I was a bit disappointed in them: too repetitive for my taste. But the premises are sound, and reminded me of a few things.
I am still in an emotional limbo, could not care less attitude included. I work, I garden and do my stuff and try to include my H, but I still get very impatient and frankly impossible at times. H has been very proactive in the planting and planning of the garden and trying to come home early most of the times. He is slacking off in the keeping the cell phone on department, though. And my ever alert mind takes note...
No, I still have not figured what to do with what I've learned. But we got a new dog...
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
