I sent him a picture of our daughter crying over a spider donut she had eaten (she gave it a name and felt bad she had eaten it...lol). It struck me as funny and I know that I shoudn’t have but I just had to send him the picture. I feel like he misses out on so much.
Don't beat yourself up about this. You are not sending ILU's or I miss you. You are sending pictures of your kids to their father. Not to remind him of what he is missing out on. Not to tell him "look we're doing so well without you", but because they are his kids and he loves them. I see it as no different to sending a pic of the kids to H's mum - though I wouldn't send it with the extended commentary I normally send to her. Just a "thought you'd get a kick out of D8's successful attempt to eat with chopsticks".
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
... and then sent me a second text that he was on the phone with his dad. Normally not a big deal but he hasn’t talked to his dad in 15 months and as far as I knew, wasn’'t planning on being the first to reach out. Kind of took me by surprise.
I think the S probably made H realize how important the relationships between a parent and their child is. Plus, and this is a personal theory with no evidence to support it whatsoever, I think we can only obsess about one thing/ person at a time. Our brains don't have the processing capacity to obsess over two things/persons so makes room for the new one. The other one kind of takes a back seat. If the person we were originally angry with was important in our lives, then we reach out, if they were not important, then they disappear into the realms of "people [we] once knew" and never waste another thought or emotion on them.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
He has been with them more this week than he had been in a month of his running away behaviour. So, I am happy for them at least. They have their dad back. A consolation prize for losing their parents together. I still am struggling with that and coming to terms with how easily he has walked away from us as a family unit. It is something I would not have even considered, even in my unhappiest moments.
I really hear you on this one. On one hand I am so happy the kids have the father they deserve, and on the other hand, I watch them together and think, what about me. I try and look on the bright side, and yes, it is a consolation prize, but he is now a better father than before BD. It saddens me it took destroying our M to get him to be that better father. It is only my ego that is hurt. Knowing that doesn't make it hurt less though.
