DejaVu - When I read your post re "putting a pause on his hear" it made me think of the story above.
When I first read the story it reminded me of when D8 was around 2. That is exactly how I felt. I remember feeling trapped but having to hang in there for the children. I grew cold and resentful. I hated being touched by him. The feeling went away after about a year and I thought we were back on track. I never got to the latter stages described in the story but I think on some level and that was probably where his feeling of abandonment started. Hindsight is sometimes not a benefit.
I agree (though accept there are always exceptions): when women first become parents their life changes completely. It is after D12 was born that I became a light sleeper. There was a sixth sense - I would wake up before she started to cry. When they started getting out of bed in the middle of the night, I would wake before their feet hit the ground.
Journal
I have just arrived home. H had taken the kids to a trampolining place so they were still out. I was planning on joining them, but when I called, they were already putting their shoes on, so wasn't worth going.
D8 is still on holidays so H has been spending time with her in the house. Whilst his been here he has sorted through some of D12's old clothes to see what might fit D8, sorted and put out the winter scarves, gloves and hats, and taken out the Halloween decorations ready to put out tomorrow. He has been busy.
He also invited his niece (7) over tomorrow to go trick or treating with the girls. Apparently his mum, his brothers GF and his brother's niece were also at trampoling. His brother's GF and his brother had a fight last night and she was very emotional. His brother and his GF are very hot headed so there was a lot of stuff said in front of their daughter (the 'C' word being one of them). So he (or his mum) invited the niece over tomorrow so the GF could have some time on her own.
I am not sure how I feel about this. I probably would have made the offer to have his niece around tomorrow had I been with them. But somehow, I don't think it is his place to invite people round to the house anymore.
I also asked him if he wanted to stay for dinner. He said the girls had already eaten and he wanted to the get to the gym. I agree with Sandi, we are probably wrong about 80% of the time when we suspect they are lying. Means we are right 20% of the time though. The rational side of me says that why stress myself out trying to work out whether this time it is the 20% or the 80%.
I was expecting him to ask how my trip was but he didn't. I thanked him for watching the girls and for sorting through the stuff. He did not mention he probably saw the cigarette butts in an old flower pot or the late payment notice for one of my bills (I am not very good at life admin and he always hated it). So, we both 180'd a little. I maybe over-egged the niceness and this scared him off as he seemed in a rush to go. Either that or he was desperate to get to the gym.
In any case, he said he will be back at 7:30 tomorrow morning to take our dog for a walk then drive D12 to school. He said that way I don't have to drag D8 out. I am WFH tomorrow and he said he would drop by and spend some time with D8 so that I could get some work done. D8 is still on holidays, so he said he would look after her Thurs and Friday as well and then also on the weekend.
On the topic of seeing him all the time ... I got the childcare schedule for November and he has asked to either see them during the day or have them overnight about 70% of the days He is going away for a week to visit a (male) friend and even then he has asked for them 12 nights. With his week away, working and seeing the girls, I don't know how he is going to fit OW in ?!?!?
Maybe he isn't going to visit his friend. I wonder if he is building a case for 50/50 ??
But, those questions represent the entrance to a cheeseless tunnel, right?
My trip itself was pretty good. Two days was not quite enough to really enjoy being there but the change in scenery was good. I missed the girls though. I missed H too. But I am use to missing him. It is a dull ache at the back of my chest as opposed to something at the forefront.
