Thanks FS. I doubt I'm stronger. I definitely have my moments and it took all my self control not to come back with a caustic comment at everything he said. DB has really helped with that. I know that I have the ability to put people down, be cynical and nasty and it is something that I am trying to work on for myself. Difficult though because my profession requires total emotional detachment.
There was an interesting question from him about who had been at the house drinking wine (i'm teetotal) and this is the second time he's mentioned it 'in passing' I have offered to pay for it twice but he has declined so I just said that it was some friends. I wouldn't attribute jealousy because he has told me more than once that he wouldn't have felt anything if it had been me who'd had the affair. He's told me that he hopes that I find someone else but he wouldn't feel anything about it.
I think the OW will be doing a good job of meeting his immediate needs ; ie when he needs excitement; she has a noisy chaotic life and when he needs calm and sympathy and understanding, she's wise enough to provide that. However, he's not the world's most patient man and 2 young children running around and being noisy (as children should) may test his character. But he tells me that he has no plans to live with her (could be to get better settlement) and that is a definite change of plan because he told me that would not be an acceptable arrangement for him. He may well have decided that he will accept this and get the best of both worlds.
I know I'm trying to mind read and it shows I'm not detached again. I suppose I should accept that it will be 2 steps forward, 1 step back for a while.
It's an interesting business this because last night I completely forgot what has happened and lived in the moment. It was only this morning that I reminded myself 'hang on, he did this, this and this' I do also think that it is an exhausting business; all this emotion.
