Ovr - circling back to your post, yes, we learn so much from our parents consciously and subconsciously and it becomes our own internal pattern without us even realizing it. At least you can see where you're getting your anger from and how it manifests in your interactions with W.
Clearly, figuring out how to manage anger is one of your areas of personal growth. We all have ours that have contributed negatively to our relationships, with mine being having a sense of control over everything. I didn't even realize it until I went back to understand why I was behaving the way I was and what were the roots of that behavior. And then the next step is to unlearn and relearn new healthy behaviors. Not just so that we're good to others, but that we're good to ourselves - taking stress levels down significantly.
But you have to put in serious work. Acknowledging the truth is one thing, but translating that into action to make positive changes is another. You have to get it to it.
I don't know how you addressed your W's disrespect in the car, but you've gotta stop that stuff right in the tracks. There is in no way or shape anyone's talking to me like that. Accuray has an amazing post about this somewhere and I might've copied it in one my threads. If I have time I will go digging one day to find it.
Commiserate here for sure.
Don't worry about taking over my thread to discuss some topics. I am past the panic inducing stage of BD and so I don't post much unless there's something to talk about.
When I started out I didn't know if I was going to make it through and do well. So, don't discount your potential. Everybody can get to the other side. Just takes patience, hard work and some time.
