Wife is not who I married ... Pt6 pls help!

[LoneWlf]

Perhaps God has used all the conditions in your sitch to teach you about your past controlling ways. All of it. The lack of attraction may be for your benefit to aid in detaching, to work on you. These feelings can change when the time is right.
Perhaps the Lord will use your S to restore your family. You have to wonder about how much pain your W must have been in to even temporarily abandon her S. No, I'm not taking her side. I side with the MR. Why else would God take so much control away from you?
I can't help but think when you are ready, all this could come back together.

RR-( as always Thank you !) You may be totally correct that God is teaching me a lesson and I am open to that . The lack of attraction I never really thought of it as such but you present an interesting angle. As you said things can and will change- nothing is permanent. The pain that my W feels I cannot speak on her behalf but in all our interactions- except for breaking down in front on my Ss therapist the one time- she has pretty much kept it together. For me the pain would be unbearable and I've said this before- it would amount in a slow death. Weather God uses S to restore my family I don't know. At this point I'm not sure if I want my W back. I'm not sure if she can overcome my broken feelings of trust and betrayal. i'm not sure if W is willing to put in the work to heal and grow so far she has been steadfast in her actions and words of wanting an S and a D. I'm not sure how I feel but will always look to further improve my heath and well being. Primarily for me but also for S.

but there is one area--religion--in which he is maintaining his controlling ways.

Unless he can get to the point where he accepts that his wife's religious beliefs are between her and God, it probably isn't good for them to reconcile.


Rose- Thank you for your point of view it is much appreciated. I have read here often that we must live by our values and beliefs. This is the essence of my being. This gives life a purpose- to love and serve. This is the core of who I believe I am. As a matter of fact My W met me at the church and persued me and told me she fell in love with this individual. I too feel that this M failed because I may have temporarily lost my focus on God and put W on a pedestal. Speaking to my priest friend he thinks W is using this new age religion to fill a void and add excitement that she was missing in our R. I appreciate how you can feel that it is control but to me this is a deal breaker. I will not be with someone or have someone practice and expose myself and S to pagan rituals and values. Not control but belief! I will not compromise my beliefs not for anybody.

Thank you all for helping me to heal and grow!! Blessings!