I'm glad calmer heads prevailed during your meeting (it is strange calling it that). I understand the ambivalence you feel. In my interactions with H, his calm demeanor throws me. I want to see some emotion, some regret, some sign that he hurts as much as I do. But then I remember, in his eyes, I too am calm. I suspect that this throws him as well. I sometimes throw in a comment I know would normally upset him - just to see that flick of jealousy in his eyes.
You are stronger than me though.
You demonstrated great dignity. If the D goes ahead, your H will remember you are a person of character. That life with you is not an episode of Jeremy Kyle. Juxtapose that with the crazy drama of the OW (with her self harm and drink problem). One day he will remember that the grass is greener under you.
You will have (re)gained his respect yesterday. There can be no relationship (M or otherwise) without respect.
