Uncertain phase of MLC

[Rita]

So sorry to see you here, Hamburg. And to see you doing what all of us do -- think that the stages will last much shorter for your W because she is different. I was sure of that for my H. He was so wonderful and loved his family so much, I was sure that his would be shorter than two years. I'm heading toward year six now, and I would say that he had made some progress through the tunnel and then went back to replay this past spring and rebombed me. He just filed, and is doing it a horribly vicious and brutal way but refuses to leave.

No one is telling you that to scare you or make you feel bad, but to encourage you to stop noticing what she is doing. It's incredibly hard to do. From this side of the screen, it looks like you are extremely focused on everything she does and says and looking for signs that you won't have to suffer anymore. This will only hurt you even more than the suffering will hurt. (And it hurts, I am so sorry to admit it!) The best way to protect yourself is to assume this is going to take years, and make your own life. Don't notice the EA. The guy is such a loser, trust that she will figure that out in time. It's harder when the OP is not so clearly a loser, but even then, anyone who would be an OP is a disgusting person to begin with, and knows only the worst side of your spouse.

If she turns out to be a quick MLCer, wonderful. But if not, you can release yourself from the slavery of watching her every move/sign far sooner than most of us did.

If you are Christian, I recommend signing up for Rejoice Marriage Ministries. You will see a lot of cynical comments here, or doom and gloom. A Christian perspective is a good antidote to keep a clear head through this h#ll.