Last night H came over to work on the Halloween decorations. We do it really big at our house, and the whole neighborhood starts asking several weeks in advance about it. So, H decided that he wanted to do it again this year, although a bit scaled back. Anyway, I said I was making a drink and asked him if he wanted one afterward, and he said sure. We chatted cordially for about 20 minutes. He had stayed at the house 2 nights while I was gone (he asked), and asked several times if he noticed I kept the house just as pristine as I left it and pointed out a few of the specifics. I assured him I DID notice and said I appreciated it. He gave me a quick kiss and hug goodbye. He held on for a few seconds. Here’s where I fell off the wagon. I told him I missed him. He said he missed me too. That was it. He left. So, I’d appreciate feedback from any veteran’s if this is a setback in detachment. I got right back on the wagon, though.
Today he did something that just annoyed me, so I’m writing it down so I can get rid of it! I visited his mom. Texted him about her status. H responds but not on that topic. He said “I wish you hadn’t volunteered me to pick up S21 Friday night” (from the bus from school).
I responded that I would appreciate it if he would not assume that I volunteered him because I did not. I told him I was not available and that he would have to check with his dad to see if he were available.
He responded “He didn’t ask me as a question he said you were unavailable and I (S21) was told that I (H) had to pick him up”.
I responded “next time please just ask me because that’s not what happened. He completely said his own thing and not what I said”.
No response. I want an apology! I will not get it, I’m sure. Maybe I should have ignored the first text, but I felt I needed to set the record straight. His knee jerk reactions without all the facts is not uncommon, unfortunately. It’s something I started addressing (calmly) prior to his moving out.
