I am concerned for my children as my W has chosen to live 30 minutes away from their school. She admittedly can't drive at night, and with the time change and shorter days this is going to become increasingly difficult. She can't change their school districts (I checked) and the one she chose to live within is drastically worse than the one they are in (the best in our area by far). Other concern I found out is that her place does not allow pets. We have 2 dogs that our kids absolutely love. One of which has slept with our daughter for the last 6 years. I know they will "cope". I just hate to see that much more of their world come apart.
OK, well first let me say that this is what separation and divorce is all about. Life is changing for both of you. What I'm hearing from you is a lot of panic and fear about the future. Here's the thing, you don't know what the future holds. Things will probably be inconvenient, maybe VERY inconvenient. But that's part of it. You're no longer a family living in one home. All you can do is roll with it, and don't let your W steamroll you into making her own bad choices YOUR inconveniences.
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I will miss my kids so much. The little things. The laughter, the drama, dinners, breakfasts, just having them come sit beside me and watch tv for a little while.
Why are you talking like those things are all going away? You do still have 50% custody, correct? A lot of people find that when they have less custody, they value it more and make better use of it. And when you don't have the kids, well that's your time to double or triple down on GAL.
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3- W is still in her fantasy fog. I believe she has done enough financial moves to last her for at least a year (totally dependent on her spending habits which I fear will increase initially as she is getting her new place laid out).
Why is that YOUR fear? You have got to let her go!! I remember having the same thoughts about my ex. Figured there was no way she could manage her finances properly. Thought she might come crawling back after failing miserably on her own. Well guess what, 6 years later she still has her job, she has her own home, has a newer car, still buys gifts for the kids, does some traveling here and there. She is doing just fine without me, and your W probably will too.
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I guess the BIG question I have is that based on our history and what has happened. Is there a decent chance that after D that we could get back together?
The chances are very small. Why? Because by the time she looks back, YOU will have moved on. It happens a lot- the LBS becomes the WAS.
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Looking for input here to. Is she totally done with our marriage and moved on?
Yes. She thinks that change of heart is permanent, but it may or may not be. Only time will tell.
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Or, is there a realization (or crash) coming when she is actually not with me?
Highly unlikely. She will probably enjoy being alone even if it's financially difficult.
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I do hate what she is doing to our family
Don't blame, because blaming leads to resentment. If you were to ask her I'm sure she would say this is all your fault. This is why most locales have gone to "no-fault" divorces. Nearly every one is a case of "he said, she said".
