Familiar path, new approach (pain18 DB VII)

[AnotherStander]

I get a call about 20 minutes after they went to bed. I ignored it.

She texts me that she was "trying to catch me and if D4 is ok". I ignore it.

OK let me touch on this as a lot of people seem to misunderstand the concept of "sometimes reply right away, sometimes an hour later, and sometimes not at all." The reason for this is to create mystery about where you are and what you are doing. Let her mind wander, contemplating the awesome GAL you are engaging in. However, it is most effective when you REALLY ARE GAL'ING and are too busy to answer. If she knows you are at home with D and her mom is there, well you are accomplishing nothing by ignoring the phone other than causing resentment. Instead of looking like you are GAL'ing, you come off like you are ignoring her. Which in fact is EXACTLY what you are doing. That is NOT going to bring her back! Again, LOVINGLY detach. That does NOT mean be cold, uncaring, indifferent. Don't ignore her calls if she knows you are at home with D, answer. Now if she has D and she's calling you and doesn't know where you are or what you are doing, then feel free to wait until later to call back or reply. Even better if you call back from a busy place with all kinds of activity in the background. See the difference there?

She then tried to make small talk, I just told her "yes. Uh huh" and told her that I'm pretty tired and need to go to bed. End call.

Now that part is perfectly fine!

I was ready to end the call, but she kept me on the line. Started to talk a little about her moods and feelings and asked me how I was feeling. I validated. She kept asking me that this felt weird and asked me what was wrong. I said "wonderful. Life if great".

Don't TELL her, SHOW her.

I wanted to end the call numerous times.

Then do it. Cut the idle chit chat and just stop her off mid-sentence if you have to and say "I'm sorry but I really do need to run" and hang up.

I said that we were going to the coffee shop near our house. She said she can meet us there. Sure. Went there and had coffee and chatted for another 20 minutes. Again, I did not ask her to do any of this.

That's fine, no harm there. It's something you were doing with or without her, so if she wants to come along that's OK.