Sorry you find yourself in this place in life. It is shocking and disorienting. First this may be hard to hear, but she is most likely nowhere near withdrawal or acceptance. Sounds like she is in early stages and is fighting the inner turmoil. What you are eeeing is cycling. So first and foremost detach and stop looking for signs. If you don’t you will find yourself whiplashed and thrown around emotionally.
Give her as much space as she needs. In fact try matching her exactly as how she approaches you. If she seems distant pull back, if she emotionally gets close match her and no more. Have no expectations, demand nothing, and show her no pain or concern. No “us” talk. She probably has a lot of inner pressure and anything you do will feel like pressure.
Having said that nothing you do will have much impact on what she is going through, she will need space and time. And despite the fact that you were most likely the person who helped her now you no longer can do that. Read the links above and learn as much as you can. And settle in for a long ride, stop trying to see how far along she is, it may be a longer process than you want right now.
As for therapists most are not aware of MLC, so beware. Find one who is and understands it rather than dismisses it as pop psychology. This will most likely be one that is older. Also marriage consoling is not productive, but if she is willing to go to individual but with a therapist wh can detect she is in a mid life crises may help. One that doesn’t realize this may do more harm.
