Thank you for your kind words FS, I will remember them when I'm feeling low. The irony is that the OW is playing hard to get. When she approached him 2 years ago she said 'i'm not looking for another husband just want to have some fun and I think you might be it' She's said that she doesn't want him full time, but it would be nice to have companionship when she wants it. She also told me that she doesn't think it's got a long term future and it might not be exciting enough but she likes him a lot and he is her 'comfort blanket' and fixes her problems for her.
He knows all this and obviously feels that he is such a good catch that she will change her mind. She is very needy; 2 small children, mental health issues including self harming and a drink problem. A couple of months before the affair was revealed he told me how unhappy he was and that he didn't think I needed him anymore and he didn't know where he fitted in my life anymore. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out what he went looking for.
I put him on a pedestal for much of our married life and that started to change when the boys grew and my career took off. I can't see me putting him on a pedestal now so if that is what he is looking for then there is no chance for us really.
When we meet tomorrow I'm going to keep telling myself 'I grew as a person and you didn't want to grow with me. That's your loss' If I keep saying it in my head then it may prevent me becoming emotional.
p.s just painted a room in the house in the brightest yellow you can imagine. He would hate it!!
