Gordie 22 eight months after she dropped the D

[Rose888]

I think actions can tell you a lot about whether or not your spouse is sweeping things under the rug or not.

A spouse to seems to be trying to understand herself better (reading or in therapy or listening to podcasts), who does some 180s of her own that make her a better person/spouse, who avoids the people or situation that were associated with the affair, etc., is probably not sweeping things under the rug and will at some point talk to you about it, or at least say something that opens the door for you to bring it up.

It's a conversation that probably needs to be had, but if actions are positive, then I would hold off until after full reconciliation before I brought it up.

I think.

The affair bit is not something I had to deal with.