He said that he does that because whenever he sees me it just deteriorated into an argument about the OW. He suggests thats all I want to talk about. I pointed out to him that I haven't mentioned her for 6 weeks when I said that was it and that I wasn't taking part in the drama anymore. He then proceeded to mention her 3 times in the conversation that ensued.
Google perception bias.
Originally Posted by Yorkie
I am quite stunned by the extent to which history is being rewritten and how he wishes to view our 30 years together. I did say that I knew his M.O and out of sight out of mind wasn't going to quite cut it after 30 years. To hear him talk I was the worst wife ever and he's suffered all of that time because I've always had my way. This is the only time that he's stood up for himself apparently.
From what I can see they all re-write history. They need the past to justify their behavior. Today I found the anniversary card my H gave me last year (2 months before BD) and it said "To my darling wife, thank you for another wonderful year. I love you now more than ever". 2.5 months after giving me that card we were in MC and he spewed all sorts of garbage - I pressured him into the R (not true), he was high when he asked me to marry him (true - but he could have backed out in the 2 years btw engagement and marriage), we eloped so it all felt rushed (not true - it was his idea) and that we didn't plan any of the children (true, but they were loved from the moment we found out we were pregnant).
It was hard to take. I felt like he was corrupting every good memory we had. But, one day they will wake up and see the damage for what it was. I suspect that for you, that wake up call will be too late. I hope it is not for me.
Originally Posted by Yorkie
My H is a lawyer and has always said that we don't need to be paying lawyers when it is relatively straight forward. Well if he thinks that I am taking his word for it then he is a bigger fool than I took him for.
My H tried the same tactic with me, even went so far as to say I was wasting the children's inheritance if I went to a lawyer. I think he forgot who he married. I think your H is the same.
PS - thank you for your input to my thread. Comparatively I sound like a whiney teenager.
