I do not think the ow is out of the picture. My xh ramped up the entire time he was dating the ow and after he married the ow, the calls, drive bys, mail incidents, etc. continued until she died five years ago. Once he hooked up w/his current woman, five months after the ow/wife died, he's been very quiet.
There's nothing you can really do to stop the nonsense, except to take notes and ignore the madness. Now, if he ramps up to the point of being a threat to you or your son, then you can file a report w/the police, but I don't think he will go that far. The more you focus on him and his antics, the more he'll do it. They want attention, i.e., whether it's positive or negative.
They don't want us, but they also don't want to let us go. They want us to be as miserable as they are, thus the reminders.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
