I made this mistake early on. I am close to my MIL and my SIL. When BD hit I had no-one else to turn to. MIL gave well meaning but ultimately harmful advice ... she said I should start snooping for OW (there wasn't one) and do things to make him jealous. SIL offered me a kind ear and hugs. Then both told H everything I said in the hopes that he would see how much damage he was doing (it backfired - he accused me of sharing our dirty laundry with his mum and sister).
Ultimately, they unknowingly pressured him to make a decision. They told him I was broken and he needed to either man up or move out. He moved out. MIL is now putting pressure on him to either tell me we are definitely done, or to come home. I wish she'd stop.
Originally Posted by imlost8
I am worried about one thing. Since he is coming this weekend to visit her, I am certain that he will be pressuring her about this whole situation (I just know how he is). It's almost as if I am the one pressuring her in a way, isn't it? Because of my past pursuit behaviors, I feel as though she will see it the same way and set me back months, even though it isn't coming from me this time.
I can't really give advice on this other than what's been said above. He will do what he will do. She will put up a wall and not listen.
If he brings it up with you again, I would say "Listen, appreciate your concern, but really W just needs space to work things out" and then quickly move on to other topics (GAL activities, work, weather). Remain upbeat - detach and 180 with them as well. FIL will get the message.
My MIL is coming over shortly. I am now going to try and heed my own advice
